Last week of freedom

As you all know, I'm going ns soon. It will be exactly week before I go in. It sucks so bad. Cat postpone it, can't cancel it, can't even void it. Hmmmmm. It's 1:30 am and I'm outside my house wondering like a weird guy. Too much thoughts and too much thinking.. I hate that feeling. Feels like my head is gonna burst. Much worse than maths.

Jamming with Michael Buble. Damn his good tenor voice. So I went down my block to clear my thoughts. I usually do this so don't worry. My badminton court is the best place to clear my thoughts it's like a void where you can scream and shout but nobody really cares. So it's fine.

First thing is my ns stuff as usual. I can't believe that I'll be gone for 2 years and spending every second of it fighting and training for the country I haven't been on for at least 10 years. Haizz. Few weeks ago, I'm already freaking out, but this week is suppose to be the "give up" week. It means that all hope and dreams are gone and it will come eventually, but for me, I'm freaking out more than ever..

Next thing is Claire, she has been very strong this past few weeks but I can sense that she's breaking piece by piece inside. Every time I hug her, I don't want to let go. Every time I'm With her, I don't want it to end. I guess I'm in it too deep already. It's a good thing right? But If this thing doesn't work, I'm super screwed and be totally damaged even more than before. I don't want that to happen again. I also think that what we have now is really special and will last forever. I hope.

Last thing that really bugs my head and cant even stop thinking about, is the movie date that we supposed to have. I'm quite excited about it because not only, I can be with her, but also with her sister. I want to make a good impression to her so that I can be in her good side. Yea, I like to please people. But unfortunately, they are going to watch without me. So that means all the plans and the hope of having a good impression is all gone. It's fine, it's not her fault or anything. I'm not blaming anyone but can't stop myself from dwelling unto it. Maybe because she is not ready to let me meet her or something. I'll give her, her own time and chance. I don't want to rush her. So yea, I kinda backed off and just let it be.

This feeling sucks.. It feels like the chingwee incident all over again.. I can't take it. But I feel abit better? After pouring it all to you bloggy.. This is the result of a hopeless "going to enlist soon" guy plus a badminton court plus 50 rounds of walking around the court while typing stuff.

Hope to have a better day. Goodnight bloggy. Time check, 2:00 am. Nice..

Mataneh.

P.S.
I'm sorry for being the always the dramatic type. I can't help it. I promise not to show it and if I do, I promise to deny it. I love you.